Truth isn’t painful. Lies are.

Photo by Michelle Tresemer on Unsplash

Truth hurts, right?
No, it doesn’t.

So what is that thing that hurts then?

The pain of the truth doesn’t come from the truth itself, but from realizing the lie, that’s been there the whole time.

That’s why the longer you postpone sharing the truth, the more it “hurts”.

The more it shakes your ground.
The more it breaks your world.
The more it disrupts.

Regular cheating on your wife 10 years ago?
Stole some big money from your ex-boss?
Had an unacceptable sexual fantasy when you were 13?

…you better take that to the grave.

Lying is more comfortable.

There is no tension.
It’s fear-driven.
There is no life in it.

It feels like crap, but it’s familiar at least.
A slow, comfortable death.

Truth hurts, but lies kill

The truth has never caused any damage.
It’s the lies. The large ones and the white ones.
The suddenly exposed layer of the rotten — it’s been there all the time!

Do you really think that lies cause no harm — back in the unconscious? Identity is the strongest force in the human psyche. Its basic attribute is that it wants to be consistent with its own behavior.
What does a tiny little inner conflict in the unconscious do with the rest of the psyche? A little lie. Rotting and growing and bubbling for years.

“Truth hurts, but lies kill,”

Someone important said and he was right.

You don’t create pain by exposing the truth — same as you don’t create that lie by exposing the truth.
It’s been there all the time.

Truth is just pointing the light at it so it can be seen.

And healed.


Truth and pain are correlated, but not causal.
Pain is caused by lies.
Truth is the healing agent.

The best recipe to avoid pain in the long term?
Stop lying.

Discover how I helped countless men heal from years-long addiction to white lies and people-pleasing! The Nice Guy pattern is the most common mental pattern that sabotages male natural confidence. If you want a clear step-by-step guide on how to eliminate Nice Guy pattern and white lies from your life, get a free copy of my eBook 3 Steps to Natural Masculine Confidence.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store